i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
