You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
