New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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