am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
