I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
