A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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