i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
