So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
