No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
