can we get nightvision for the apartment?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
