Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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