I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
