right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
