Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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