found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
