the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
