I would go down on you faster than GM stock
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
