No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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