If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
