I wish I could punch you in the face.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
