she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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