I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
