he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
