what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize