I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
