lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
