so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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