I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
