WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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