and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize