I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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