I have demons in me.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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