kristin has been a bad kristin
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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