Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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