do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
