Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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