I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
