My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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