I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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