the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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