Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
