i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
