I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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