no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
