Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
