I'm going to jail i love you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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