Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
