I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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