I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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