I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
