Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
