Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
