Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
