What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
