the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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