Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
