bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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