I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm always down for nudity.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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