Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
