I am in a vortex of obligation.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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