I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
