Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
