You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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